Betrayal and hurt carelessness so brutal it cuts my bones an iron blade slowly putting me on my knees till I fall and never come back never the same the wound will heal, but there will be a scar vertically crossing my spine forever every time I see it it will remind me of the most difficult period in my life the moment I learned friends can betray people like to see you dwell, like to see you in pain well some do unfortunately for me you were one of them you hid it really **** well until you finally came out of your shell up for destruction wherever you could find it well from my knees I will In nights I hug Nelson, my dog, my everything,  absence of pain is already luck for me being home in myself is where I will be I don't need *** or a lot of psychical things I will just grow a pair of wings and when life gets too hard when the memories come up I will fly a bit higher up in a realm full op peace and serenquilitity where no one can see me free of this merciless earth a moment of rest until I have climb back, joint the fight, cause I will not hide I will help people who have suffered the same fate I did or something like it I hope that I can give them some comfort, make them calmly sit realise there is realise there is also beauty in life, but it is not found in guys, or excess drugs or means its in the flower floating down a stream, its in the smile on your dog's face when you come home how he whistles before his walk, so happy in his tilth oh so unaware of all the filth I want to protect him forever, so that he only experiences, good and love and gestures of selflessness luckily I am there for him, but who is there for me I'm alone in a filthy ocean, but I must continue, I must swim the reason is a bit unclear it might just be fear like everything falls back in fear of death in the end I try not the reason is a bit unclear, it might just be fear like everything falls back in fear of death in the end, I try not to think sink my feet in the sand, stare at the sun and sing as loud as I can to feel a little brighter a little happiness a little less messy.