I pushed you away from me
Knowing that I would ask myself
Why did I make such a horrible decision?
I keep torturing myself with this constant
Barrier put up to keep me from ever getting close
Close to anyone
Anyone in particular
Only cause I keep wanting to ask
What if...?
What if I hadn't said no to you?
What if I had decided to stay with them?
What if I didn't push you away from me
And stopped over-thinking everything?
Why don't I just stop this thought process for once
And live in the now
Not worrying about the consequences like everybody else
And enjoying all that life has to offer
But that just isn't in me
It's just not part of my genetic make up