Dear Long-Lost Lover

Dear long-lost lover:

Don't be such a pain

I've got plenty to gain

From the way I swing my hips

To the seductive words that pass my lips

People don't say I have a natural charm to be nice

Oh no, I am well aware of how to roll my dice

I am purposely everything you dream of

Of course, I became that after we fell out of love

You wanted a woman who would show her body

So I learned how to do that, without being gaudy

You wanted a woman with a cutesy face

So I learned how to do that, with style, class, and grace

You wanted a woman who would show you no pity

So I learned how to be kind yet heartless, quiet yet witty

Finally, you wanted a woman who would bend to your will

But that was one part of your model woman I didn't want to fill

Because you also wanted a bit of rebellion

So I became your most sought-after little hellion

Oh darling, I remember how you screamed when I turned you down

Oh darling, I remember how you pouted with your idiotic little frown

You couldn't fathom how I didn't want you back

After you broke my heart and made me crack

I became your model girl because I wanted you to suffer

I wanted to show you how you'd only made me tougher

So go ahead and call me anything you please

Because I'll be telling every girl how you only want them on their knees

The truth is simple: I don't care anymore

Go ahead and call me a **** or a *****

I've accomplished my goal of becoming what you desire

Just so I can watch your burn in your own selfish fire

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