They say when one door closes another one opens.
Well, then why is every door I go through one door I can’t get through the next one?
Why can’t I go back as others do?
I’m forever stuck and I can’t get out.
I’ve been trying for so long to get through any door at this point, but I’m stuck and I’m stuck good.
I know there is a door there, it’s just invisible or maybe I’m just blind..?

I want out, I want to be happy just like you are.
I want what you have; a happy life no worries, someone who asks you if you’re okay when you’re even the slightest bit sad.
I envy you. I envy so many of you and don’t even seem to realize it. Why?

I tried so hard to fit in and pretend to be happy for you.
In the end that’s all, I was doing, pretending to be happy so you could think everything is perfect.
When in all reality it’s not!!
I fight every day just to put on a smile and fake everything you see and think is happy, it’s a lie.

You must be used to those by now coming from me, right?
The lies that leave my mouth, after all, there are thousands upon thousands of them, some I hide well I guess and others I don’t…
Or maybe the ones you figured out I wanted you to figure them out.
After a while, too many lies and you feel a little overwhelmed.
It’s not like I can’t handle feeling overwhelmed, it's just that I got too tired and I couldn’t take it anymore…
I’m sorry for this I truly am…