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Mar 2020
The Toltecs say that you have forgiven
When you no longer flinch
At the sight of your face
or the sound of your voice

How long will it be before I stop looking for you where we used to sit
Or skipping every song we sang together in darkening parking lots
How long must I wait to be free of you?
------------------------------------------------------------­--------------------
.............................I hate you
..............................................You hurt me
.......................................And didn’t give enough of a **** to notice
I left you..............................................................­.........................
And you didn’t care enough to ask either of us why.
------------------------------------------------------------­----------------

It gets a little easier to see you
But the scars never really left either of us I think
If you got hurt at all that is

You took all the joy from me and gave it to someone else
Every-time I was with you it was so you could gain the attention of someone else
I cannot fathom the idea that you can love anyone but yourself
I dodged an entire ocean when I realized you intended to drown me
Rather than keep me afloat in your arms

Thanks to you I’m slowly learning not to be bitter
And that anger only warms you until its time to go swimming
and wash all the misery away

I told you I loved you and hoped that we could be alright like we were before I realized what you’d stolen from me
I’ll never be so careless with those words again.

I won’t ever thank you for making me stronger
We don’t praise death for giving us something to inspire us to live

| Remember that when you see the ghost me in the passenger seat
Written by
Mara
140
 
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