loneliness
grips me by the heart
and squeezes me into a pulpy mass
of tissue and blood

dripping

because you're miles and miles away from here

and i am scared
of spending time with other people
in case you finally decide to call

so i stay in,
watching the rain make the grass greener
sipping some coffee
watching some tv
writing some poetry

watching that pulpy mass grow mold
                                    it is in the corner of my house,
                              i'm trying not to look at it.

i'm trying to ignore the loneliness


but i'm hurting.
my throat is choked
and i haven't worn make-up in days (what's the point
it just comes off when i cry)

but you,
you have the sweetness
and the kindness
when you wrap yourself around me,
i feel like home

but
you're
miles

and miles

away.