May 2013
Pretty
Pretty.
What does it mean to her?
Since the beginning time, she was always told she was pretty,
But at one point that little girl began to question
If what she was told was a lie.
Everybody seemed pretty,
But her.
She was no longer the “You should sign her up for modeling” girl.
She became “Oh, she’s ….. tall”
Or “Wow, you’re big! Oh I mean big for your age.”
When the “pretty” faded, so did her spirit.
The omnipresent smile was gone,
As well as her joy.
She became her mother’s nightmare
Moody,
Sensitive,
Irritable,
Argumentative.
She covered up her self-destructive insecurities with faux confidence and
“No really, I’m fine”
Just as if one covers up their unsightliness
With aggrandize grand eyes, cheeks and lips
No one ever knew that underneath all the bravado
There was still a little girl,
Who seemed grown physically and sometimes mentally,
Longing for someone to tell her she’s pretty.
Incorrect.
This little girl was waiting to tell herself she was pretty
And believe it.
Pretty.
What does it mean to her?
Since the beginning time, she was always told she was pretty,
But at one point that little girl began to question
If what she was told was a lie.
Everybody seemed pretty,
But her.
She was no longer the “You should sign her up for modeling” girl.
She became “Oh, she’s ….. tall”
Or “Wow, you’re big! Oh I mean big for your age.”
When the “pretty” faded, so did her spirit.
The omnipresent smile was gone,
As well as her joy.
She became her mother’s nightmare
Moody,
Sensitive,
Irritable,
Argumentative.
She covered up her self-destructive insecurities with faux confidence and
“No really, I’m fine”
Just as if one covers up their unsightliness
With aggrandize grand eyes, cheeks and lips
No one ever knew that underneath all the bravado
There was still a little girl,
Who seemed grown physically and sometimes mentally,
Longing for someone to tell her she’s pretty.
Incorrect.
This little girl was waiting to tell herself she was pretty
And believe it.
I wrote this last year when I was 14, towards the end of my "weightloss journey". I was never obese or anything but when I was younger I always knew I was never as thin as my friends. I ended up gaining the weight back over the course of the year and I thought that meant I was somewhat of a failure. In retrospect, though I lost a lot of weight it wasn't till this year that I began to truly believe I was beautiful. I learned for myself finally that my size doesn't define me and I'm very healthy and athletic so I realized that I was losing the weight for society and it wasn't really to be healthy, because I've been athletic.
Sorry that this it's kind of cheesy but I just felt like sharing a bit of my story with the world.
Sorry that this it's kind of cheesy but I just felt like sharing a bit of my story with the world.
