I finally did it today
Even though every bone of my body was screaming at me
Don't do it! Don't do it!
I did it anyway
It was just as bad as I imagined it would be
All the bad **** I thought would happen happened
I got all sweaty
I nearly ****** my pants
I couldn't speak
I choaked on my own spit
I fell apart
It was horrible
But it was incredibly easy
So easy to fall to pieces
So easy to cease to exist
So easy to break
I enjoyed it
Too much maybe
I'll probably do it all again tomorrow
I've been so lonely
It's all I can think about doing when I am alone
When it gets quiet
Nobody is watching me but myself
I fall apart
Loving it
Feeling a little less lonely for a bit
Almost ******* my pants
Sweating
Looking aroung and seeing nobody
Nobody but me
Talking to myself
Telling myself
Don't do it
Don't do it