Feb 2020
Grievance hides in comforts lair,
Waiting and preparing with an evil glare,
Coming out when least expected,
Leaving not a love untested,
Pain hits both souls in unequal proportions,
Feelings of love face severe distortions,
While you may detach with little trouble,
This has turned me into a pile of rubble,
You feel relief from madness,
I feel grief and sadness,
You need time to reset and defuse,
I remain restless dazed and confused,
Hopes of renewal flows through me,
I ponder and it is you I see,
You are unlike me however,
You are unsure if there might be better,
Unsure if it is a better me,
Or if it is someone else you might see,
What was,
What could have been,
What was the cause,
And when?
How did it come to this,
I struggle to not reminisce,
So many good times,
Drowned out by one harsh line,
Spoken from you,
All of it truth,
Painful to the ear,
Something I never wanted to hear,
Yet delivered with such care,
As to make it easier to bear,
Yet somehow that made it worse,
Now it justs hurts,
It almost would have been easier,
If you had made it speedier,
Cut ties right after,
So I wouldn’t have to remember the laughter,
Oft shared between you and I,
Which I know lies buried in time,
You have given me a slimmer of hope,
That maybe some day we can fix what you broke,
How can I move on when my heart lives for the future,
For a past that couldn’t possibly come sooner,
How long can I wait,
Right at the gate,
For you to make up your mind,
Create a relationship by your design,
To your liking,
To my acceptance,
Am I willing to give my independence,
For what, another eight months,
Another eight months of constant bumps?
Foolish is the one to agree to this,
Yet foolish am I to even resist,
I know I can take it,
Another eight months,
I know I can commit,
Even through all the bumps,
You are the unknown,
Sitting there on your throne,
Making your ruling off how you feel,
Giving me the urge to kneel,
Your decision holds my breath in the air,
I hope of nothing but repair,
And I wait as you stay quiet,
Acknowledging that decisions take time,
Yet I hope to once again call you mine.
Waiting and preparing with an evil glare,
Coming out when least expected,
Leaving not a love untested,
Pain hits both souls in unequal proportions,
Feelings of love face severe distortions,
While you may detach with little trouble,
This has turned me into a pile of rubble,
You feel relief from madness,
I feel grief and sadness,
You need time to reset and defuse,
I remain restless dazed and confused,
Hopes of renewal flows through me,
I ponder and it is you I see,
You are unlike me however,
You are unsure if there might be better,
Unsure if it is a better me,
Or if it is someone else you might see,
What was,
What could have been,
What was the cause,
And when?
How did it come to this,
I struggle to not reminisce,
So many good times,
Drowned out by one harsh line,
Spoken from you,
All of it truth,
Painful to the ear,
Something I never wanted to hear,
Yet delivered with such care,
As to make it easier to bear,
Yet somehow that made it worse,
Now it justs hurts,
It almost would have been easier,
If you had made it speedier,
Cut ties right after,
So I wouldn’t have to remember the laughter,
Oft shared between you and I,
Which I know lies buried in time,
You have given me a slimmer of hope,
That maybe some day we can fix what you broke,
How can I move on when my heart lives for the future,
For a past that couldn’t possibly come sooner,
How long can I wait,
Right at the gate,
For you to make up your mind,
Create a relationship by your design,
To your liking,
To my acceptance,
Am I willing to give my independence,
For what, another eight months,
Another eight months of constant bumps?
Foolish is the one to agree to this,
Yet foolish am I to even resist,
I know I can take it,
Another eight months,
I know I can commit,
Even through all the bumps,
You are the unknown,
Sitting there on your throne,
Making your ruling off how you feel,
Giving me the urge to kneel,
Your decision holds my breath in the air,
I hope of nothing but repair,
And I wait as you stay quiet,
Acknowledging that decisions take time,
Yet I hope to once again call you mine.
