i mistake a first date as settling down
a deep conversation for a new best friend
five carrots as my dinner
free ride home for continuous vehicular mobility
i mistake a kiss on the cheek as marriage material
and those glossy, deep blue, swooning eyes
have been mistakenly viewed as
my one and only partner
-
my friend once told me i looked miserable
i thought that meant she cared
little did i know, it was her way of
manipulating a situation to her liking
so she could bring it up as "instability," only two weeks later
-
don't forget the time i let shame and disappointment come over
to hold me in the absence of your wrath
-
i never really realized how many of your lies i believed
and took as truth
when the future and upcoming consequences
proved you to be wrong
-
i thought that mistaking the next door neighbor
for a friend
would mean i'd never be put into a risky situation with him
yet little did i know
he'd end up ***** one night while i was intoxicated
and **** my dysphoria to the point i couldn't see myself
as lovable, compassionate, valid, or kind
-
i thought that by you grabbing my back instead of my *******
meant you just wanted someone close
but the second that strip turned blue
i realized i was just another pawn in the game
-
you were *****, alone, and fearful
i was tired, inebriated, and misguided