I gather up the courage to ask you
What’s been boiling in my mind.
I steel myself and type those words
To click send took a lot of time.
I’m okay. I’m okay.
I was hoping for confirmation
Some comforting explanation.
Instead, I got a dose of reality
The truth never works out for me.
I’m okay. I’m okay.
Tuesday morning, I woke up.
I just lay in my bed.
I thought about last night
Played it back through my head
I’m okay. I’m okay.
I stepped into the shower, my sniffles faint
My resolve crumbles and so do I.
At last, I’m free of restraints.
On the shower floor, where I can cry.
I’m okay. I’m okay.
At school, I’m slow, unresponsive
Some notice, they ask me if I’m good.
Obviously, I lack my normal grin.
To strangers, I’m just “misunderstood”
I’m okay. I’m okay.
I get home, log back on.
I’m sorry.
I thought my tears were gone.
I log out. Close my laptop.
Me too.
I’m still okay. I’m still okay.
Later, when I come back online
I happen to see a certain post on your wall
I thought I was fine.
But as it turns out
I’m not okay at all.