I’m in love with something
That doesn’t exist.
In a state of being between
Trysts and
Loneliness.

The idea of happiness is
So far gone
Like a cloud in a summer sky
Or a bite
In an empty sea.

I don’t think my hope is lost
But it does elude me so

I don’t want to say my nonexistence is key
So I’ll say my non-word, nonexistency.

I’m in a state of nonexistency
Just like you.
Breathing, feeling, inconsistently
Existence isn’t fit for me.

But there’s subsistence in existence
Nonexistence is too drastic
Though I’m staring at the giving tree
Like headlights under traffic.

I thought you were a west wind
Screaming across an open plain.
But really you were the kite string
Twisting my neck, lifting my name.

Do I exist for them or me
And do I matter, too?
I’m in a state of nonexistency
But I’d exist for you.