When I am alone & often in the dark,
persistent questions sneak into my mind,
screaming incessantly in a quiet whisper,
Maybe I am not ready for all of this ?
Maybe I’ll fail, fall down & end up picking
shreds of broken glass from my tiny knees
for as long as clocks chime & time leaps forward

Maybe I’ll bleed & never find the right way to
hide the scars that might manifest themselves
upon my already well-travelled body.
I have so many already & they may ask
Why does she continue to leap in bounds ?
Does she not see her skin is already tarnished?

Indeed, maybe I’ll never find myself in others
Maybe I’ll never know what comfort feels like
& maybe, I’ll never have peace within
but good god, I have never said no to
anyone, anything when I felt it call my name
I have lived, have laughed & have cried
as if every moment were the first & last

I have felt as much as I am capable of
Have given myself time & time again,
Have let others feed themselves on my vulnerability
(I imagine that my affection tasted like flowers
Sweet & in full bloom, freshly cut in springtime)
I hope that they ate to their full (& never forgot the taste)

It was of no cost to me (save an ephemeral sadness)
I always seem to rise from the ashes
& so maybe I am no Fool for having hushed
those Sirens’ voices in my mind
I fell down & yet, always stood up

Maybe I will be forever unsure of many things
but I know, I have always known
that I am a lover & I shall love
It is of no sacrifice & I am no martyr
only ever, a mortal attempting flight