i probably have to leave*

what a roller coaster this simple phrase
has sent me on today
i stumbled through classes and down halls
groggily sitting in shock all day
never processing a word
i've shut down and find myself wasting away
writing about you to no end

i wish i could wash you and strip off your sins
myself
but i know that you must fight for yourself
so much innocence still glistens in you
whether you like it or not
i wish it would overpower you

you cannot leave, i'm pleading
after all we've had
this cannot be how it ends
but if it is
take my blanket to remember me by
for when i was weak
i draped it over me and thought of
your blissfully crooked grin