it tears me in to pieces
thinking of you
& how it used to be
the memories that haunt me-
I remember we wouldn't dare to go a second
without speaking
the smile that appeared on my face
inevitably as you spoke to me
being in your arms
shrouded in your warmth
the laughter that uncontrollably
spilled from my lips;
it was because of you
& it tears me to pieces
to wonder if you remember these things too
believe me;
I do
it rips me apart
seeing you
like the pages of the notebooks
I've wasted writing about you
the way you appear
clarify to me
are you happier with her?
'cause I  search through your mind
every time I get the chance
but I can't find the boy I recognized
I haven't heard you laugh in so long
I have to wonder if you even smile
the blue gleam in your eyes has faded
like the pages of a paperback in the rain
I'm ripped & torn all over again

- a.f.