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Feb 2020
You might not know me or you do
What I'm about to tell you is sad but it's true
Grab a seat this gonna take moment ok?
Now you might think this is some weird ****** ****
But let me tell you it's much more than this
Now let me warn you already instead
Although you're not in it
I'll make you feel in it ok?
You can close this right now
Cause things gonna be a bit steep ahead

My soul has been broken so many time
That now I laugh instead of crying
Trust and love bring the tears
Pain is my new taste of comedy
Let it shower
let the pain drizzle all over me
Cause it's the only when you'll see the most laughing me
My hope never died
Yeah but its backbone did
You don't get this?
let me take you a bit deeper ok?
I used to think of happiness and love is what I need
but once my tongue got the taste of hurting and dying
****** I ******* loved it
Now that pain became something where my life depends on it

I used to be scared of pain
Until I realized happiness was the real evil
And now I invite all the energies to hurt me in such a way
That there's no chance left to let me escape
Killing me slowly but not letting me die
That's what My heart wishes for one last time
Take me down to the deepest of this lake
Hold me there till I'm ******* dead
Or you can burn me up in the brightest flame
I hope anyone who comes to me must treat me in their worst possible way.
And all of this is written by me cause finally my tears are black
Mind's open, heart's burning, eyes exploding
But most of all my soul is cracked
Cause this is written by me when my tears became black
My tears are black but I was not crying
I know you don't get this, let me explain, trust me I'm trying

Word that can define me is catastrophic
You need to listen to me I'm not on narcotics
Yeah it might not make any sense to you
But that doesn't mean it's senseless
Each day I get up and get dressed
With millions of shards in my heart
layer under layer suppressed
You might call me depressed
But I'm not
Cause this is written by me when my tears became black
I'm not crying but laughing with the tears that are black
And I hope this might explain me right, cause if it doesn't
I do not have any other words to say, ok?
Abhishek Gautam
Written by
Abhishek Gautam  21/M/Lost in my mind
(21/M/Lost in my mind)   
115
       Fawn and Bogdan Dragos
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