When I woke up I was crisp and paralyzed
Betrayed by my body
Left out to dry my own tears
But there was no sunshine for weeks
I blew around in the wind for days
Holding onto a rope as the twine unravelled
I was weightless  
Pale as a ghost
And soft as 100% cotton
I don’t know how to explain what it feels like to live your worst nightmare over and over again
Other than the sheets you’ve had folded up in your closet for years
The ones that your mum only takes out when distant relatives unexpectedly stop by and you have no time to prepare
I’m cleaning up a mess that I did not make but here I am
Still delicate  
Some days are so hard I can’t even get out of bed but make no mistake
Other days I tuck the sheets in tight
Making my bed just to lay down again
Choosing what I want to do with my body is a liberty I will never get tired of
I’m weightless because I won’t be held down  
I’m a ghost because I will not rest unless I want to
I’m soft because never again will I be convinced that my ability to forgive is a weakness.