I kicked the past in the chest
when it dared to run by
Breaking and bruising—to remember
him using
old brass keys from the cabinet
to wind

me up and then
Leave.

I cursed his sterile heart
Inked out his jagged eyes
****** him
to Hell
To claw at walls of the well
he made me fill alone—

Raven boys
They crow
but never cry.

But in I draw my limbs now
as I watch you
Blue heron on the surface
of the sun

(where the sky meets lake)
Turn to burning dark—awake
I eclipse you
to see by moonlight
what I’ve done.

I hear hints of constellations
vying for a place
But the starlight dies—close
those supernova eyes—you
***** them out
press the pillow to your face.

He never cried.
I wept in my own
twisting orbit—never touching
Gravity kept me nonetheless

Now I watch you
wipe your eyes
Too scared to think about goodbyes
(I hold you)
Part of me dies
in your duress.

This is what it’s like to love me.
To love you
There’s fear of change—of loss

But I’ve got you.
I’m not leaving.
Stargaze together—
A glimmered evening

This
is what it’s like
to be us.