I just realized: I will die without you by my side
During my wake you will be just another guest instead of my grieving spouse
You will shed a tear
In the crowd
And when they talk about my life, your memories will be outdated
You will not know my first apartment
You never heard the story about how I saved the kitten from the tree
(And it’s probably a good one)
You will not recognize my crow’s feet or know when they first appeared
Next to the eyelids you used to memorize with your lips
You will sit there like a memory
Like the cologne my grandfather used to wear
A distant smell that I haven’t smelled for years
Lost in the back room of “Used to be here
But not.”
You were the first to make my heart thud in my chest
And when it stops you will not be there
You will hear about it from a mutual friend
And appear as a stranger
With flowers from Valentine’s Day far too late