they say time convalesces
though, i have doubt
i don’t think time can fix this
not the infinite, not the eternal
not the unending black ribbon of it all
the clocks will all stop before this feeling leaves me
the mountains will turn to rocks
the oceans will turn to deserts
the earth will freeze over a thousand times
the sun will melt everything, the sun will burn it all away
the great tides of time will drown me before this feeling leaves me
and it will be the last thing to leave me
when my eyes close
and my heart stops
and my mind fires its last
when my skin is gone from me, when my insides are gone from me
when my bones erode like a sweet in a warm mouth
this feeling will leave me only then
when there is nothing left
when my body collapses in on itself like the sun
i hope you are given more mercy
i hope you lose this feeling like people lose pencil sharpenings
i hope you forget me like people forget cups of tea
i hope this feeling washes off of you in the shower
i hope you close your eyes and it dissipates like a bad dream
i hope you can hold me on your eyelashes, i hope i am weightless
i hope you can blink without noticing, i hope i don’t make you tired
i hope you can carry the memory of me without remembering me at all, i hope you can talk about me without recalling my name
i hope you can walk through this world without reminders of me
without the shadow of me over everything
without my colours tinting anything
i hope i haven’t stained you the way you stained my mouth red, haven’t darkened you the way you darkened me
i hope you flourish, i hope you grow, i hope all of my ill wishes of you in the past perish
i hope this darkness leaves me first
i wish you only the light.