Pursuit of happiness.

I've been searching for what seems like ages..
The feeling these people get when smiles are on their faces..
Most seem to love life, for me every day breeds hatred..
On the pursuit of happiness that feeling is so sacred..
Where does it begin, better yet where does it end..
Do you have and tips any secrets to me you could recommend?
People say find hobbies something you'll enjoy..
Opposite the Midas touch everything I hold is sure to be destroyed..
Maybe I'm not happy just because I'm scared of it..
Found peace in chaos I think I really love it..
Cuz when I get to close, a little to comfortable..
Then I start to love without a doubt that **** will crumble too..
To be happy I think you need clear mind..
Live without plans, you and I, we could steal time..
Cuz when I see your face I swear that I feel fine. Lets be real for this time..
It's only in your absence, that I start cracking..
Positivity is hard for me, all I'm used to is negative action...
Abandonment, that was quick. Heart is numb I'm getting used to it..
But I won't stop looking happiness I'm pursuing it.