i never really knew nonchalance
until approximately twenty minutes into ever
having had the pleasure
of your existence
alongside mine.
"i'll have to teach you how to surf"
you mentioned casually, sounding perfectly genuine-
which alone was enough to startle me
knowing you were leaving the country
before the water would ever be warm enough
the far rockaways?
my mind's eye gave a grimace and half a laugh at the thought-
but my affections were melting through your fingers.
you stopped us abruptly on the sidewalk,
halted all conversation
and crept up
(as if you had a hundred times)
on to some random brooklyn woman's stoop
and ripped a few leaves off of one of her plants.
i stood idle, feeling warmer suddenly,
trying to disguise any semi-shocked expression i may or may not have emoted..
and watched as you returned
with the most unmistakable grin
and two sleepy little leaves in your palm.
without hesitation you began chewing on one,
while handing me mine
and i listened as you detailed the experience with an ecstatic moan of pleasure.
"mint?"
i knew it was a mint leaf,
obviously, somehow
but still asked anyway
i don't remember if you confirmed,
feeling so bewildered by the strange glowing glory of you
but i ate it obediently,
as if it were naturally in my personality
to never question eating an unfamiliar plant
from the unfamiliar hand of a man
whom i was most unfamiliarly falling in love with.