I am torn

Between the missing and the hurting

The ache you left is still hollow and

I don’t know if time actually heals all wounds or if it just fills them

With one part pretending and seven parts regret and

The mountain of words that is rotting in my belly

Just waiting to erupt from my tired throat

I am torn

Between my heart and my mind

If I don't cage up my thoughts

All they do is wander back to you

My skin tells me that you will be back soon

But this skin has never touched you

It’s been too long

I have since scrubbed you out of my pores and

Washed you away from my sheets

Taken you down from my shelves and

Tucked you away from the light

But when I close my eyes at night they remember

The way your voice tasted when you laughed

I am torn

Between love and resentment

Sappy is sticking to me like a band-aid and

I’m too chicken to rip it off

I’m too stubborn to let myself forget because

If I forget that we existed,

If you never hold my eyes again,

If I let you slip through the cracks,

What will I have

Then

It is a question that I won’t let myself answer

Consider this

Time heals all

Wounds but in the healing

Wounds