There are little folds on your neck
as you sleep
that look like hair scrunchies, I am a little girl
again though in a big man’s embrace.

You were born in the eighties
I am a child of the nineties, had a neopets
sugar daddy at age ten

and I think it could have been you, you, you
that painted my acara rainbow
told me it is okay
to be gay and straight at the same time.

I have not looked at a girl since you
nor remembered how their skirts felt rubbing
unfolding against my thigh.

I had not even said “yes”
to anyone before your big man embrace
because I thought that being silent
was the same

and I think Peter Pan stunted your maturity
so you could help me grow up
too.