I shouldn't have asked him to be calm
without fail he's on a trip
drink clenched in his hand
teetering
  anticipation
  take out a cigarette
he starts furiously
  I don't have to think
  eyes shut tight
    left lying broken
      so often
  middle of the floor
  just like the Christmas toys

he's promising he will settle down
he's vowing he won't touch me again
  there's no need to answer
it's too late now to make it over again;
it's shattered
smashed beyond repair

when you see a man
there's something about them that
                                makes
                                you
                                 stop
as if he is
life's greatest challenge
to figure out

he's not