Hickory dickory dock
Goes my biological clock
The clock strikes 1
An egg falls down.
Hickory dickory dock

Tick tick tock tock,
Tick tick tock tock.

I've always loved kids,
I've always loved babies.
I'm not one of those women
Who files procreation beside rabies.

I moved quickly from baby-sitting
To baby-ready

Any guy I try to go steady with
Is scared away
I hate to say
By how badly I want to be in the family way.
At bars what's the pick-up I say?
"Hi, I'm Amy. I'd like babies yesterday".
(It doesn't work so well).

Why do I want kids so bad?
Well why the eff not?
All that unconditional love
That baby smell they've got.

When preggers I could wear all those clothes
That make me look fat
But with pride.
Not hide my belly,
But place my hands like so
On my bowl full of jelly.

People would open doors for me.
Pull out chairs for me.

Then when the baby came
They'd ooh and aahh.
Smile at us laughing
On the local park's seesaw.
"Heehaw's the sound a donkey makes!"
(All the dudes reading this are like
"Girl, put on the brakes!")

But why do guys often run
At the thought of a fam?
Why should I hide
Who I really am?
My career's going nowhere.
No man sticks around.
So I'm poking holes in all the condoms I've found.
(What's so wrong with that?!)

Perhaps I'm just lonely.

I guess what it boils down to
At the end of this set's:
If I were to have a baby...
It would mean I'd had ***.