I never thought after three years I’d see you again
But there you were
Sitting a little ahead
I could feel my breath catch
My heart beat a little faster
Yet it was still hard to believe
To grasp
That even after all this time
You still had that affect on me
When I got your number and we talked a bit
All those emotions came rushing back
Would you believe that
And when we met to hang out
You looked beautiful in that baseball hat
Through the summer, I got to know you
See how you've grown
Witness who you've become
You aspire to challenge the world
Take in all that you can
Stay firm in what you stand for
Believing that one person can see change
In a corrupted universe

At some point
I can’t recall when
Sometime between you handing me your number
And me calling you later on
Sometime—whether sailing or hiking
Or a late night at the movies
I fell in love with you
You constantly invaded my thoughts
Made me feel like I could fly
When your hand just brushed against mine
Made me feel alive in a way
I can’t even contemplate
When I asked you that question
And you replied I’ll get back to you
Those hours of waiting
Were the longest of my life
I did receive my answer
When you called
And you told me you didn't feel the same
Part of me seemed to wither away
But I tried to bounce back
As you were explaining
In a desperate, apologetic voice how sorry you were
Tried not to let my voice crack
As disappointment settled in
So I asked if we could still be friends
You sounded so relieved

But after that—
I wish you knew
How difficult it was to not grab your hand
Hold it tight in mine
Wrap you in a loving embrace
Hold you close to my heart
I wish you knew how hard it was to love you
When I looked at you, I saw a future
I saw kids running around
I saw us—me and you
Yet even though our friendship is all we have
It’s enough for now
It’s sufficient
If I still have you
In some way to hold onto
And I know one day
You’ll find someone
And you’ll come and tell me with bright eyes
How wonderful he is
You’ll look at him the way I look at you
And I’ll close my eyes at your wedding
Knowing you’re gone
Hear you exchange vows
Through rimmed eyes
Watch the tears come down
Hear you choke up a bit
From the flooding emotions in your system
And I’ll dance with you
There’ll be this moment
A small moment where I’ll pretend your mine
I’ll close my eyes
Go back in time
Figure out some way to change things
But he’ll come back and take you in his arms again
I’ll look on for a moment
Before leaving
Walking out alone
And letting you go
Because loving you is so difficult
Even to the very end