so like i know this isn't the classiest way of doing things and i apologize in advance for posting my proposal on the bulletin board of this skeezy coffee shop - no offense to the owners please don't throw this letter away - but last week you stole my bike
it was a great one not shiny or fancy or anything, but it worked well for me worked for the past four years and the twenty years before that when it was still my dad's and he rode it to the post office every day to help letters get where they belong (maybe letters like this one, isn't that romantic maybe he's guiding this thanks dad, you're the best) and passed it on when his knees froze up and i rode it to this skeezy coffee shop every day - sorry to the owners (again) but i buy your ****** lattes every day least you can do is let me propose - but then last week i left it outside and didn't lock it (fate, see) and you stole my bike
i think you were probably walking by - maybe about to come get a ****** latte from this skeezy coffee shop (sorry) but then something caught your eye i think you saw all the emotion invested in my bike. two decades of getting letters where they belong. four years of ****** lattes. and well who can resist so much meaning spread out in the open for anyone to take? and i mean since you saw it there, didn't just say 'oh' 'a bike' like everyone else, you were probably meant to have it. it's a piece of my heart (the bike i mean) and now you have it
or maybe you just liked the color and like i do too green is a great color
i like green you like green you wanna go out sometime
we could go on a bike ride except you stole my bike
anyway i don't think the bulletins are supposed to be this long but it's an important one so maybe it's okay this time so if you see someone with an old green bike tell them i'm in the skeezy coffee shop i'm the one drinking the ****** latte and holding a jewelry box