He knows, though I do not
he cannot articulate it why
he pushes me away
and I return
like an annoying dog at the dinner table,
my nose driving me

He knows, and I do,
though I cannot admit it
though it seems so compelling
and so healing
that for him to like me
would so seem to heal me, cure me
but it is not what I really want

Because, I do not
have not
never have
liked him
Why don't I know that?