contenment, n.
driving down the road,
staring out the window,
listening to music you're ashamed to love

making promises to yourself
that you have no intentions
of fulfilling because it's all just as well,
varying your breathing in order to remind yourself
that you are indeed alive,
smiling at the fact that you are alive and seemingly well

missing the way things used to be
but being okay with the way things are,
speaking the names of the beautiful people in your life
and hoping they know how
beautiful they truly are.

Not to be confused with happiness.

I look this word up next.

happiness, n.
the sun peeking through the clouds,
holding hands and being kissed on the forehead,
dreams that make you wake up with a smile as big as Texas,
inside jokes,
shared looks,
best friends,
secret dreams,
favorite songs

fulfilling one of those promises
you made to yourself finally
and the results aren't quite
what you expected but good enough

fleeting,
never to be trusted,
never to be believed,
possibly nonexistent.

Never to be confused with joy.

One last word.

joy, n.
driving down the road,
watching raindrops race down the window,
stopping to play as it falls,
listening to music that makes you melt,
music you resolve to share with everyone you meet

never making promises to yourself
but learning that whatever will be, will be
(que sera sera, hakuna matata, shut the hell up and let God -- or whatever else you believe in-- work)
taking deep breaths and knowing that you are lucky to be alive,
that you were meant to be alive

knowing that things have never been better than they are
in that moment and may never be
and thus, savoring every laugh every smile every second,
calling the names of the beautiful people in your life
and reminding them that they
are beautiful wonderful loved
and that they always always have you

perfect,
long lasting,
trustworthy,
best friends forever,
shared dreams,
loud laughs,
summer nights,
quiet moments of solitude

incomparable to anything else
and therefore impossible to confuse

I put the dictionary down
and realize that I have no
definite idea of where I am.

This could possibly be the
most amusing or the most
frightening thought
I've had in a while.