What is it to be free in an unfree world? Madness, as the only escape, is what I have chosen. Madness in the sense of unrest, Disavowal of the properties proscribing my actions I smoke and drink to put off life to ensnare nothingness with breath and feel contingency take its hold on me I want wine, furies and song to be my epitaph and grasp at meaninglessness with two sweaty palms
I am not comfortable and never shall be with this notion of decidedness and squalor of the mind yet it is I
I know little of the great works and can hardly hold a pencil
This is where I meet myself, a worker, unfit for labor exposed to existentialism and sick