i'm close to a breakdown
but i'm holding back tears
because i'm supposed to be ok
and showing weakness isn't allowed
because telling you i just need space
is enough to get me to tomorrow
and pretending to sleep
gets me through the night

i'm close to a breakdown
but i'm holding back tears
because i don't want to smear my makeup
in case he comes to school later
because i've already been told it looks bad
why mess it up more
even though i pretended i didn't care
i pretend i never care

i'm close to a breakdown
but i'm holding back tears
because i'll cry later
when i'm alone and the door's locked
because i've had so many breakdowns
i've lost count of them
and i can't ask for your sympathy
when i don't have my own