how you laughed when you heard the news
rationalizing
he isn’t dead just in
a different room

and for six years you fabricated business trips
made your life busy
he walks out and you walk in
too many just-missed-hims to count

until

one night your wall falls down, and six years
worth of tears push their way out of your eyes
he really was dead all this time
he really was dead all this time
he really was dead
he really is dead

reality hits you hard, a kick to the throat,
a low punch to the stomach
so you curl up smaller
and smaller
until you feel you may disappear.