I think if there is a god
He must make mistakes
Because there no way
I am meant to be
This lost

And I think I wasted
Too much energy
Pretending I love him
Because when I knelt in the chapel
My mouth spoke
"Amen"
But my mind
Thought nothing

And sometimes I think
That god is a metaphor
For the daydreams
We all have
But never really speak of
Because this world is a prison
And we're already in hell

None of this is to say
Of course
That if you died
I would not go back
To my lifeless "amen"

Because I need to believe
That you are watching over me
And not a lifeless corpse
Cold in the ground

I know I'm a coward.