This is a poem about how I'm waiting
But it is not about how alternative I am or how I am writing a book in the coffee shop
I am not writing a book
I'm not writing a book about particle physics
I'm trying to figure out, instead, how love can be simultaneously the most pleasurable and painful feeling
In the entire universal lexicon of feelings
And why I work so hard to get you to say I LOVE YOU
Even though I know it's true from the way you move your face slightly to accommodate mine
And the way you hold me after we have rough *** as if to say
You are delicate and I will not break you
That's love
But I need to hear you say it
I need you to run to where I am sitting in this coffee shop listening to
Country western folk songs on college radio
And tell me
Come into my arms
I love you even when you let yourself go. Even when you dissolve into a million particles I cannot see or even comprehend
Like the Higgs Boson
Or the things they do in the LHC
And love is something, that, like those particles
I am not sure I understand
But it is something that I feel
And I feel it for you.