i'd hold you,
if i weren't on fire.
love you if i weren't a liar.
kiss you if i was a little kinder,
to myself,
to my friends,
to my mom and my family.

walking in emergency rooms,
just to walk in circles alone,
doctors,
saying nothing's wrong with you.

driving home,
calling strangers on phones,
just to feel less alone,
know I'll drink to my death,
but no one will know.

all i want is to see you again,
hope you watch me ascend,
and i miss all my friends,
all these words are dead ends,
just to get you to love me again.