I finally understand
what they mean,
when they say
you get addicted to a
certain kind of sadness.
Because now,
I am completely content.
But, I'm sad because,
I'm not sad.
I'm sad,
that I'm happy,
because it isn't because of you.
I now don't know
what to feel anymore.
Because I've found out that
I'd rather be sad because of you
I'd rather be happy because of you
than be sad,
or happy,
over anything else.

I don't want chance.