As days roll forward,
you start to disappear, fade
or maybe, it’s just that
I’m only forgetting…

the occasional ***** brings you back,
but I cannot remember clearly,
time settles as a fog does on the sea,
you were an ocean & now, I don’t swim

do you still rush through winter streets
your thin arms bare, insisting
your fragile masculinity,
like it was a badge you’d won?

are you still always hungry?
do your ribs jut out, &
could I still count them one by one?
or now, does someone else do the counting?

did you learn how to put her first?
like you tried with me so long before?
does she wake up to your tongue
& your boyish body like I once did?

do you still hate what you see
when you glance in the mirror?
are you still so **** arrogant?
Have you swallowed your pride yet?

can you remember any of it?
I’m starting to lose it all
My life is expanding &
you are growing smaller

When I left, I didn’t want
to lose the good but then,
everything dies in abandon
doesn’t it, after all?