I wanted to get you something odd for your birthday
A trip to a Pacific Island
How are ya-"50"
With all the crooks and turns
this crazy life brings us
nobody gets away
without waterfalls in paradise
hula skirts and little squirts
they all arrive on time
Speaking of odds and paradise
I thought I would quote a few
1) chances you'll date a supermodel
88,000-1 (think Marcus Schenkenberg)
2) odds of marrying royalty
(if you lived in the U.K.) 500-1
3) chances that any person dating is dating a millionaire
215-1...not dating?
4) odds of becoming a saint
20,000,000 to 1 ....actually you are way closer than that to me
5) chances of writing a NY Times best seller
got your attention now right?.....220-1...you can do it
6) odds of becoming president
You'd be the best one in my lifetime...10,000,000 to 1
And there are bad things you may never
have to worry about:
7) being struck by lightning
87,000 to one
8) being possessed by Satan
7,000 to 1 ...unless America is "The Great Satan" in which case you already are here
9) chances of the destruction of the universe
I know you have been worried about this
10 to the 100th power to 1
After giving you all these odds
don't you feel better now?
How about one more odd?
The biggest odd of all
"me"
ok...no kidding
odds of you having a GREAT BIRTHDAY
ALL THE BEST ODDS