Apr 2013
Reading poems you've sent me before your untimely demise. I still don't think I've loved anyone else but you- always trying, just incapable. Do you remember when we were talking about having souls? You were so certain and I just wasn't sure- that's changed, you changed that.
I still recall how completely devastated I was when your parents sold your house right before you left for college. Like a scene from a ****** lifetime movie, you left with a kiss holding up a sign which simply said “I will come back for you.”Although, it’s not much, it’s something I’ve held onto as a security blanket-never once doubting that you wouldn’t. Today, it hit me that you really weren’t.
We’ve been planning our lives together before we could successfully tie our shoes. All we wanted was a house on the water with a garden and a tire swing—but really that wouldn’t have mattered as long as I was home with you. I never had the best childhood, some people have called it the worst, but since 1st grade you’ve gotten me through, saving me from one unfortunate circumstance after another—holding my hand when I was scared and wiping away tears when sorrow overtook my fragile little heart. You were my ultimate comfort, my only home. Today, at 9:53AM, it hit me that I was finally homeless.
Today it finally hit me, at work, where everyone could see, that you were truly gone. Tears stream down my face silently as I try to convince those around me that I just have really bad allergies—it’s not like they care anyway. I keep looking at my cell, hoping for a phone call or a text that just says you’re alright- but I know it will never come.
Once when I was small, my grandmother told me an Irish folktale about how people were created in pairs and separated at birth to search for their other half- you were that half.
Do you remember when we talked about having souls? I do and I believe it now. Mine resides six feet under the cold hard ground, right where it has always been—*with you.
I still recall how completely devastated I was when your parents sold your house right before you left for college. Like a scene from a ****** lifetime movie, you left with a kiss holding up a sign which simply said “I will come back for you.”Although, it’s not much, it’s something I’ve held onto as a security blanket-never once doubting that you wouldn’t. Today, it hit me that you really weren’t.
We’ve been planning our lives together before we could successfully tie our shoes. All we wanted was a house on the water with a garden and a tire swing—but really that wouldn’t have mattered as long as I was home with you. I never had the best childhood, some people have called it the worst, but since 1st grade you’ve gotten me through, saving me from one unfortunate circumstance after another—holding my hand when I was scared and wiping away tears when sorrow overtook my fragile little heart. You were my ultimate comfort, my only home. Today, at 9:53AM, it hit me that I was finally homeless.
Today it finally hit me, at work, where everyone could see, that you were truly gone. Tears stream down my face silently as I try to convince those around me that I just have really bad allergies—it’s not like they care anyway. I keep looking at my cell, hoping for a phone call or a text that just says you’re alright- but I know it will never come.
Once when I was small, my grandmother told me an Irish folktale about how people were created in pairs and separated at birth to search for their other half- you were that half.
Do you remember when we talked about having souls? I do and I believe it now. Mine resides six feet under the cold hard ground, right where it has always been—*with you.
