An intensity only I could feel, but I don't notice it anymore.
Not control to maintain a sense of power, just to keep myself safe.

This control is tense.
Caught in my shoulders, my jaw, my throat.

Stopping myself from speaking, it's safer to be quiet.
Only say what is necessary, make sure it is well thought out.
You can't falter when you speak to them for it is a sign of weakness.