Depression wrote me a love letter
His handwriting looks just like Death’s

•

See,
our love is a secret and it is an instant escape.
He can take me anywhere
but I have to be alone first,
I have to be asleep first.
It has to be just us.

He said he loves me and he has to,
he has to protect me from everyone else -everyone but him.
If I want I can be with him forever, but

It’s just for me, somewhere only I can go.

No, the promise land isn’t Heaven
but if I could be rid of this Earthly existence then perhaps even Hell could be paradise.

My path emerges: clean cut
Cut deeper, cut longer, cut -
maybe God can’t hear me
maybe God can see me — see this

•

I don’t want to be in love with Depression
but he seduced me into a belief:
only he and I exist -
So how do I stop loving the only part of me that I can still see?

Tell me you can still see me, God.
Can you see all of me?

Am
      I
       still
              here?