I see the world, sometimes
through a static filter
sometimes it seems unreal,
like a dream but I'm too aware
like lightheadedness but I don't feel like passing out

It's like I'm a machine
living on autopilot
like muscle memory but I'm conscious of what I'm doing
it's all scattered and blurry
and sometimes I feel like I'm not in my own body

It scares me,
scares me that I don't understand it
scares me that I can't control it
scares me that I don't know when it will happen
scares me how staticy it seems