Only when steam encroaches upon
my reflection, do I undress
making a ***** pile of underwear
and esteem at my feet, this ugliness
just a sweating blur in the mirror.
I break a nail trying to scratch you
out of my naked skin
as I step into the shower.
Against raw wounds water is acid,

burning like your scathing indifference.
Just an hour ago,
I had put my hand to my chest
but before I spoke, you
just unbuttoned my Levi’s,
said, “Never mention it.”
You took me in your mouth
feeding your hunger with my body,
****** me empty.

I cough up my disappointment
as the steam strangles me;

unlike your hands, leaves no bruise.
These tears were not joyous
yet you lapped them up, thirstily.
This is never the me I want
to give; it’s all you
ever take, laughing as you
spit
me
out

Black water always spirals
down the drain after being with you.
What is it that keeps bringing me back—
your filth
or the catharsis afterwards?