"He has one magic trick, just one and that's it; he disappears"
Is that how it is?
****
And you're gone. And he's gone.

I'm having trouble.
I tried to make an omelette today and it turned into scrambled eggs.
And I was standing there,
Giggling to myself
As it must be my brain.

****
And everything went dull,
numbed,
- And under that so much anger
And I didn't know how deep until just recently.
Or perhaps I don't even know yet.

And I met a guy.
And I think he's the one.
And I've never really thought that before.
And I think we could be together forever.
And I've never really thought that before.

And I flip from feeling crazily, happily, madly in love
And I flip to feeling crazily, urgently, madly desperate
And I flip to nothing at all.

A numb.

But I know the feelings are still there.
I know I'm still teetering on the edge
The balance.
That balance between a wonderfully happy me
And a ridiculously desperate me
What if it doesn't work out? What if I ***** it up? What if he finds someone else?  
What if what if what if what if...
And I know I just need to relax,
There's no answers gained from this repetition;
BUT what if?!

And I've been looking at myself lately,
I've been realising how wonderful I am
I've been realising how intelligent I am
How talented
How beautiful
I'm even funny!
And I think to myself
A whisper from somewhere dark and deep;
*But is it enough?