i lie awake and i
reflect on my affection
somewhat consciously...

though i write and breathe with
the same, flowing alertness,
my thoughts, however, are not as graceful...

i find you somewhere
within this maze, with its throbbing walls
and musty confusion
to which i find no end.
at every turn, i falter
and where most routes are chosen,
i find i'm becoming better acquainted
with the ground:

it's endless, senseless detail,
lack of order.
we have our similarities, he and i...
though, as i walk upon him
he ages,
as do i,
and in the lapse of time
we only grow closer
usually by falling
and leaving our mark behind.


this is my journey to you,
this is my journey through you:
may they both be led happily
and in the same way, end,
though all the while, happiness being
knowing that it never does