Things aren’t looking so great. I’m sorry you can’t change your fate. I’m sorry you hold a lot at stake. I’m sorry that you don’t seem to catch a break. I’m sorry to say that you don’t have what it takes to be alive.
I’m sorry that all you have to keep you going is the guilt of causing grief to the ones you love.
I’m sorry that all that you seem to do is lose.
I don’t know what will become of you in six years time. Quite frankly, I don’t see you living to see them. You have no consolation but a dear friend who’s just the same as you, you want to give her the world yet you can’t manage to lift a finger. You’ve lived to see another winter, you’ve lived to see 18. I think that’s more than enough, don’t you?
Time is a loop of events that keep reoccurring, not necessarily the same but they all make you feel the same hopelessness, desperation, and misery.
I’d love to see you yearning to live, not hanging to a hope of dying everyday.
Maybe that day will never come,
The light at the end doesn’t feel real.
I’m sorry that you still don’t have a proper way to cope and deal.
You hate to see yourself this weak and you often wish that were made of steel.
So life could cause you no wounds,
And you wouldn’t have to feel pain to heal.  
Be good, be kind, if you live to see this in a few years time.
But if you don’t then that’s okay, because heaven knows how hard you tried to be fine.
Uncertainly,
Aysha