When you hear about death
You assume accidents
Especially as young as i am
You never consider ******
Or even suicide

Inside me there is a silent killer
I call it depression
I may smile and laugh with friends
But at night suicide is all i think about

I am my own enemy
My thoughts are my own enemy
I take showers because that
Is my safe place to cry

I take baths at the hottest temperature
To numb my body, make physical pain go away
Mental and emotional pain, always finds a way to stay
Feels like i can never get away

If you read my name in the paper for death
It would be suicide
You would be shocked
You’d never imagine, if you didn’t know my life

I have fundraised for cancer patients
I have met with mayors
I am known in Amarillo
I have done so much for the community

My problem is
I worry about helping others before myself
I always put myself last
Never ever first

To my parents i'm only concerned with myself
I never think about others
They never change their perspective
Only criticise
I have my own silent killer, and it will come soon.