"EH WHITNEY...WE GOT A PROBLEM!"

Here, on
the boundaries of the mind

there was a tear
in the space/time

continuum thingy
coming apart at the seams.

The Universe was looking
a wee bit precarious.

But I'd been watching
Blue Peter for years

and fixed it with
some sticky-back plastic

and some Wrigley's
Spearmint chewing gum

and 500 bottle tops
I had saved up

in case of an emergency
such as this.

The Fairy Liquid Bottle
was still half full.

Undoubtedly questions
will be asked but

I think it will last
until God or the Great Whatever

gets its finger out
and fixes it.

Meanwhile here I am
holding the universe together.

Houston singing on the radio
"You'are all the man I need!"