Sometimes, I sit and I think
About how I was an almost to you.
We were an almost.

It suffocates me,
Trying to explain our almost.
As there is no other name for what we had
Than almost.
But I believe that it warrants a much better name,
As it felt so special, it still feels so special.

I still always think about our almost,
And it makes me tired to my bones.

When you called me gentle,
When we sat in the trees, barely speaking,
When you made me coffee at 3am,
When we watched a scary movie and then talked about it until the sun rose,
When we had a few too many drinks and played Jenga in your dining room,
When we just sat there, on your porch
Revelling in each other’s existence.

When you touched me, so softly.

And my body aches now
Unfulfilled
Wishing that our almost
Became something more.